When a parent goes to far....

Disclaimer: I’m just throwing this question out there as a topic; I’m not saying it is currently going on in my group.

When is it just a parent going to far and it is no longer friendly chit-chat and the parent becomes abusive toward the leadership team. I feel we as Scouters put up with lots; screaming kids that don’t like to hear what you are saying, kids that don’t tell you that they have wet bed at camp, picky eaters and we all way will have that over protective parent that wants to know everything that when on during a meeting but dose not want to be a leader. But when dose that friendly parent cross the line. If a parent wishes not to keep their voice down when you speak to them calmly, or starts attacking you personally what do you do? I find that the duty of care dose not address this. As we all become busier and our time is getting stretched out more and more sometimes people have less patience for something’s. It is becoming more in more common to see signage up in stores, hospitals, clinics and other work places saying that “verbal and physical abuse will not be tolerated toward staff, offenders will be removed.” But yet us as leaders sometime routinely are raked over the coals by some parents and have to walk that fine line with them. On one hand we have to treat the patent with respect because you don’t want them to pull their youth and then go to the school the next day and bad mouth your program, on the other hand you have to show that you have control over your section and abuse at any age will not be tolerated. What some patents tend to forget is that we are all volunteers and not babysitters, we having to deal with a number of issues.
My question is should a paragraph be added to section 7000 in the BP&P’s about abuse toward leaders from parents? What would you do with a patent that is abusive to the leadership team?

I am surprised by the lack of discussion on this one. As leaders, I think we all have had this happen on several occasions. I usually tell the parents to come to a meeting and help out to see, but if it continues, and it does, time to put on a 'brown shirt' and join the club. In general numbers, I usually do not see the youth return next year because of the parent. But, i agree that there needs to be something in th BP &P about this. There is nothing that I am aware of that allows the leadership to formally ask a youth to leave (other than criminal issues). From overly distruptive youth to overly compensating parents, there is nothing. I find youth are actually easier to deal with in these cases than the parents. Losing a few youth is not as serious as losing a good leader to parent abuse.

There are many things that BP&P doesn't cover...and I'm glad. It simply isn't possible to have every possible issue discussed. I believe that the issues you mention are satisfactorily covered by current procedures.

First, I would encourage the group itself to create a code of conduct that all youth and parents be provided (see section 7000).

Second, membership termination is not within the local group's responsibility. See 4001.4 and 13020.

It is the Group Commissioner's responsibility to: "Advise the Council Commissioner immediately if, as a result of a complaint or observed behavior, a member should be suspended. Operating Procedure for Suspension and Termination of Membership (see Council Management Operating Procedures) must be followed."

Of course, having said all this, even if you got your wish and a section was added to BP&P, that document is only applicable to those who hold membership within the organization. A parent is not usually a member so this is something that the group would have to handle. My approach would be to say: "I see that you are getting very emotional and loud. When you're able to discuss things calmly we'll be happy to respond to your questions."

One last thought, "A Sponsor/Partner has the right to restrict membership in their Group to members of, or who are otherwise identified with, the Sponsor/Partner." I mention this just to make you aware of it but I believe it to be a huge stretch to be able to use this clause (found in Section 1000) as a way to handle this issue.

Garth

What would you do with a patent that is abusive to the leadership team?

In general, absolutely nothing other than refer the whole matter to the Group Commissioner and let him/her mediate a resolution.

If a parent became verbally or physically abusive to myself or any member of our team during a meeting or event I would require his/her removal in order to protect my youth. This would start with a verbal request which, if ignored, would be followed up by a call to 911 and removal by police officers as a trespasser.

As a volunteer I am not prepared to accept any abuse nor allow any abusive behaviour to those in my section.

And I wish I was not speaking from personal experience here.